Farscape Epic RPG: A Pet By Any Other Name
by Chant99
Summary: Based in my RPG alternate Universe: On a quick stopover on a commerce world, Chiana finds yet another strange being to bring home. No foreword. Just a quick story I got after seeing a episode of Greg & Dharma, & I thought who else would this happen too?


"Where is she?" D'argo growled with his usual sense of impatience.

"She said she would meet us back here within an arn," Berret supplied, with his usual indifference. Much to the Luxan's growing annoyance.

Crichton pulled the end of a stick out of his mouth with a loud slurping sound, then inspected it crucially to be certain he'd gotten every last possible bit of the concoction it formally held, then tossed the stick over one shoulder.

"What was that stuff called again?" he asked no one in particular, as he patted his belly. "Never mind," he countered just a bare microt later before anyone could answer. "It's probably better off that I don't know anyway." He turned his attention to the cloaked and armored Shrike instead and joined the conversation. "I have to agree with 'Big D' on this one. Letting Pip wander around by herself probably wasn't the best of ideas."

"It was not my idea," Berret responded dryly. "And as she reminded me before she departed – I am not her keeper."

Aeryn frowned deeply and fingered the handle of her holstered pulse pistol.

"Well, judging by past experience, the little brat cannot only use a keeper, but a leash as well," drawled the ex-Peacekeeper. "We should go and search for her immediately.

Rygel spun his Hoverthrone around in Aeryn's direction and snorted derisively.

"Better start with the rooming establishments first… she's probably already shacked up with somebody," he said.

"That's enough out of you, Spanky," John cut in.

"Perhaps we should give Chiana just a few more microns to arrive," asked Zhaan. "We should not just assume the worse." The Delvian paused to gaze at her companions. Each and everyone, including the normally emotionless Shrike, wore the same skeptical look on their face. "Right," the Priestess amended a few microts later. "I believe I shall start with the refreshment houses nearest the landing port."

"Did I hear someone say 'Refreshment houses'?" said a youthful female voice from behind them. The group turned in mass to discover the Nebari girl approaching only a few paces away.

"Pip!" Crichton exclaimed, silently glad that the young girl wasn't bringing along representatives of the local law enforcement behind her – as she had on a number of other occasions.

"Its about time!" snapped D'argo, which Chiana chose to ignore.

"At least she didn't bring company," the Hynerian quipped sharply. Chiana chose to ignore him also.

To Berret she smiled, and the ex-Enforcer responded only with a minute nod of his head from beneath his cloak's up-raised hood to greet his crewmate and friend.

"Why the long faces?" she asked the others. "You didn't think I was getting into trouble, did you?" the last she said with a sly smirk gracing her black lips.

"Yes," Aeryn said without a microt's hesitation.

"No, of course not," Crichton said at the same time, the doubt clearly evident on his face despite the claim obviously meant to keep the fragile peace among the crew.

"Oh! Certainly!" chimed in Rygel, always eager to get a shot in at anyone.

Zhaan smiled her best at the girl. "We were merely concerned is all," she said, and then turned a deep frown on Rygel for his comment, a gesture that the Hynerian Dominar chose to ignore as well.

The huge Luxan warrior looked as if he were about to add a comment of his own, when his nose twitched. He then inhaled deeply several times as if scenting something, and then his lips turned downward in disgust as he noticed something hanging around behind the just arrived Nebari thief.

"What the hezmana is that?" he pointed as he asked the question. The others turned to look where his finger directed them, and found the warrior was pointing at what they thought was a small animal. A moment's closer inspection revealed it to be something else totally.

"It's a little guy…" said John, in deep bafflement.

"In a fur… costume," added Aeryn.

"I know! Isn't he drad?" Chiana asked next, with a hint of excitement.

"Oh, so she did bring something back with her. How surprising," the Dominar sniped.

Zhaan's brow furrowed for a moment and then cleared in understanding. The Delvian's face broke out into a big smile.

"He's a Hommokkian," she said as if that explained all.

"Forgive the dumb Erp guy… a what?" asked Crichton.

"A Hommokkian," Zhaan replied. "He's from a peaceful race that worship the spirits of the animal world by taking on their form and living as they do."

D'argo groaned at the news. "They're pests! They hang around space ports and jump or stowaway aboard any ship where someone was stupid enough to pay them any attention." He turned to Chiana and asked, "You didn't feed it, did you?"

The gray girl grew defensive and motioned the Hommokkian closer to her, it immediately scooted over and crouched by her leg and began to… purr!

"He's a he… and yeah, I gave him part of my Plook-on-a-stick," she informed them.

"Oh yeah, that's what that thing was called," Crichton said idly. He regarded the small man at Chiana's feet more closely. "Whatever he's called… he's dressed to look sort of like a house cat. Or that's what his get-up reminds me of."

Zhaan nodded in agreement. "He probably has chosen the form of a feline species that inhabits his world."

"But can he chase mice?" John asked flippantly.

"What?" Zhaan asked, thrown by the human's cryptic comment – cryptic to her at least.

Dargo scowled. "It doesn't matter what it can chase. It's not coming aboard Moya!"

"He is too!" Chiana yelled back. "I like him, and we're taking him with us."

"What? The big dumb assassin wasn't enough for you?" Rygel smirked.

Chiana scowled just as deeply as D'argo was doing. It was clear that had the Hynerian been closer, she would have struck him.

"Shut up, Toad!" she settled for instead. "Say something, Berret," she continued, turning toward the cloaked man. "Tell them he's coming with us."

"Why?" asked the ex-Enforcer. Not sure if he was more bewildered by the question of taking the creature with them, or why she thought his support would carry any weight with the rest of the crew.

"Because… because… he's cute," Chiana replied, grabbing at a reason.

Berret looked even more confused for an instant.

"Why?" he said again.

The Nebari girl groaned in frustration, and was about to turn to Zhaan for help when the Delvian spoke up.

"Hommokkians are considered good luck by many spacers," she told the others. "And they normally only journey with a particular ship for a short time, mostly just between one planet stop and another. They led a nomadic life and return to their homeworld only a few times in their life. Perhaps we are blessed that this one has chosen to travel with Chiana."

Chiana looked from crewmate to crewmate briefly and then nodded her head sharply as if a valid point had just been made.

"Right," she said firmly. "It's a sign of good luck… and we can use all the good luck we can get." She idly reached down and began scratching the little man's furry hood, right between the feline-like triangle ears. The Hommokkian stretched himself out longer against Chiana's leg and purred even louder than he previously had at the new attention.

John erupted into a great belly laugh at the sight.

D'argo scowled again, and Aeryn looked as if it were the strangest sight she'd ever beheld – and it just about was. A little man, barely taller than Chiana's hip while standing upright, wearing a tan and white fur costume, complete with a tail!

"This… is ludicrous," she announced, more to herself.

"You're just getting that?" the Dominar asked. "You're feeding that creature out of your own food share," he told Chiana next. "He's not getting any of mine!"

"Relax, Rygel. I doubt he'd eat that much, so you're in no danger of starving," John added.

"So he can come?" asked Chiana hopefully.

Crichton shrugged. "What can it hurt?" he asked the rest. "Especially if he'll be gone at the next commerce world. What do ya say Dargo?"

The big Luxan threw up his hands in surrender.

"Do what you want. Just so long as I'm not tripping over the frelling thing every time I turn around."

"Aeryn?" the human asked next.

The Sebacean woman shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me," she said.

"Blue, what about you? As if I couldn't guess."

Zhaan smile graciously. "It will be a pleasure having such a peaceful being aboard Moya, even for a short time, John."

"What about me? Is anyone going to ask me what I think," griped Rygel.

"No!" Both Chiana and John said at the same time.

"Berret?" Crichton asked next turning to the Shrike. "Any thoughts?"

The ex-assassin frowned deeply for a moment.

"It's a little man…"

"Yes," encouraged John.

"In a fur suit."

"Right again," the human answered.

"Who believes he is an animal."

"Correct-a-mondo! Give the man a cigar… now what's your vote?"

The Shrike gazed over at Chiana who was still stroking the strange little man in the cat suit, and his frown grew even deeper. It was then that Crichton became aware of another nasty little monster had joined their group.

"Uh-oh," Aeryn said under her breath as she realized the same thing.

Rygel laughed out loud at almost the same time.

"Somebody's jealous!" he nearly barked in laughter.

John was closer, and this time he did slap the Hynerian ruler across the back of his head.

"That's enough, Rygel!" he muttered as low as he could. Still, the comment was out and the damage done. Luckily, Chiana had now realized the slight problem and had taken a few steps forward toward Berret. At her heels the Hommokkian followed, walking on all fours as a real feline might. It was obvious that the species was at home walking in either fashion. Crichton noted that oddly enough, the Hommokkian's tail seemed to move by itself, just as a cat's would. He decided he didn't want to know if it was a real appendage or a function of the fur costume.

"Hey… 'Ret," Chiana said with a smile as she moved closer to the tall assassin. Close enough that she had to look up at him through her shaggy hair. "Its alright, nothing has changed. You're still my partner-in-crime. I just though it be drad to have the little guy hang around with us for a bit. Don't you think it'll be fun?"

Berret started down at the Hommokkian, who seemed to be staring up at him now with virtually the same sense of distaste.

"No," the ex-assassin supplied.

"Come on, Berret! Be a sport. How can you say 'no' to the little guy?" the Nebari waif asked next.

The Hommokkian yawned at that moment and revealed needle-like feline fangs. It then stretched again, and this time Berret saw cat claws had been sewn into the fingers of his costume as well.

"Easily," the Shrike replied.

"Please?" the Nebari tried next. "I really don't need your permission, but I'd like to have you with me on this. It'll be fun… and he knows some kintso-mad tricks too."

Berret pursed his lips so tight they nearly turned white as the blood drained from them.

"I can imagine so," he grumbled. He also knew Chiana was right; she didn't need his permission for anything, and would very well do what she wanted regarding the Hommokkian anyway. He supposed he should just be grateful that she had taken into consideration asking his opinion, and be thankful for that.

"As you wish," he told her next. "I will not protest this creature coming onboard if it pleases you."

"Thanks 'Ret!" she exclaimed.

Chiana rewarded him with one of her biggest smiles, followed by an equally large and lasting kiss on the lips. The Nebari turned back to inform the others of her friend's decision. While her back was turned for that moment, Berret's gaze drifted back to the annoying Hommokkian.

The feline man's features were twisted it their own version of jealousy, and the Shrike realized the new expression was due to Chiana's attention to himself just a moment ago. Berret found his own lips turning up into a sadistic grin. The Hommokkian hissed at the Shrike under his breath, just loud enough for Berret to hear.

When Chiana turned back, both male's features were again the perfect picture of tranquility.

"Well, come on gang, let's go," Crichton said. "We still got three other shipmates to convince to let our little cat friend stay for awhile." Referring to Andar, Malika, and Sean – who all had stayed aboard the Leviathan this trip.

D'argo and Zhaan hefted large sacks of trade goods and headed for the Transport Pod parked on the landing field some distance away. As they walked together, the Delvian was attempting to convince the Luxan that the Hommokkian was indeed a sign of coming better luck for the crew. The huge warrior remained ever doubtful, but that didn't deter the priestess in the slightest from her lecture.

John and Aeryn followed next, strolling side-by-side, lost in their own conversation. Which was more than likely who would get to pilot their craft back home to Moya.

Rygel trailed behind the couple on his Hoverthrone, refusing to carry even the smallest trade item, unless it was worth something.

Chiana picked up her own packages and started off after the Hynerian. Pausing only to click her tongue at the Hommokkian to indicate he should follow her.

The gray girl didn't look back, confident that the feline man and the assassin would be close behind her.

Instead, the Hommokkian hung back a moment, still staring up at Berret as he sat on his hunches. The Shrike slowly lowered himself down until he was squatting before the strange little man nearly at eye level.

The Hommokkian regard Berret silently for just a few microts, then hissed deeply with no sign of fear, as he held up one hand turned paw, to display the five claws attached to his fingers.

The ex-Enforcer waited with a blank expression until the warning hiss died away, then gradually raised his right arm, slowly the pair of brace blades slid from their housing on his forearm until they were fully extended, curving gracefully from their three cutting edges over his clenched fist to their needle points just in front of the Hommokkian.

"Mine… are longer," Berret said in a low tone.

The Hommokkian regard the Shrike with only mild interest, then turned his nose up as if Berret were no longer a concern, before getting to all fours again and sashaying away after the Nebari girl.

The ex-Enforcer watched the strange creature leave, and then rose back to his feet as the brace blades retracted home into his forearm armor.

"_It was going to be a long trip to the next commerce world,"_ he thought to himself with a sigh.

He mustered his resolve, knowing his patience would be facing a grueling test over the next few solar days to come, and followed in the wake of the others.


End file.
